What Motherhood taught me about Mental Health?
October 01, 2015 By: Amruta Kshemkalyani

Tribe, I had heard ‘happy mom, happy child’ phrase a few times, but I properly understood it when I became a mother. Before that, if I saw a crying child in public space or a mom losing temper with her kids somewhere I used to judge those mums, like many others in society. I have no sisters and never saw anyone’s motherhood journey from up-close, so it took me to be a mother myself to understand the real challenge of motherhood.

Motherhood is one of the most challenging jobs! When my son was born, I became a full-time mother from a full-time career woman in a male-dominated industry within a matter of a few weeks. I was working till my 8th-month of pregnancy as a sustainability consultant, used to visit construction sites for inspection, attend meetings and manage teams with a big belly. My colleagues used to joke at work that they can’t believe that soon I am going to get busy with the baby and changing diapers. A few days in motherhood, I realized a very stressful day at work was much easier than raising a child on your own.

However, with the first few sleep-deprived months and a lot of learning as a new mother, I still made sure that I am present with my baby. Honestly, I was almost disconnected from the outside world and had no idea what was happening in the world during those early months. My life was completed taken over by an infant. Millions of beautiful moments spent with baby Ruhaan and figuring out my way through natural parenting were some of my favorite memories of those times. But as they say, you need a village to raise a child and here I was alone most times as my husband used to travel a lot for work then. Our pediatrician even complained once and insisted that Ruhaan’s father should join us for at least one vaccination or doctor visit. As a child of a working woman and spend most of the time away from my mum with baby sitters, I have loads of memories missing my mother during my childhood. So I was very adamant about not having a nanny and preferred the help only for the house chores. I wanted to be there for Ruhaan in each and every tiny development phase and so I even decided not to join back the work.

But, it started taking a toll on my mental health and soon I experienced the cranky mother makes a cranky child. That’s when I started spending some me-time mostly when he used to take naps.

Mommy Me-Time

I started doing things which I love during my me-time. So going outside on strolls with baby or bird-watching (from my window). Photography was always my hobby, but thanks to Ruhaan I learned a lot of new techniques.

This was the time, I started giving more time to my other baby ‘Sustainability Tribe’. My friends and colleagues used to ask me how I am managing my sustainable lifestyle with a baby, so I started sharing natural parenting tips on the blog right from baby safe things to eco-activities with younger kids.

Spending time outdoors is the most important thing for me to remain sane. So we used to spend a lot of time on the beach or parks. I used to trust my husband with baby and use to spend my me-time walking barefoot on the beach or reading a book lying in the grass. Taking breaks from mommyhood helps a lot in improving and maintaining mental health. Since my son started nursery, I made a routine of spending a few mornings for myself. People talk so much about being authentic, mindful, present in the moment; I guess this outdoor me-time helps me to reach there, being me!

Why Outdoors?

Now, even though personally I prefer spending time outdoors over pampering time in saloon or shopping in the malls; scientifically it’s proven that spending time outside has lots of health benefits. According to the Harvard University study, if you spend time outdoors your vitamin D level will rise, you will be happier as your mood will elevate and because of the natural daylight, you can even heal faster if you are recovering from any illness.

Plus imagine, walking barefoot on grass without any heavy mommy-bag on the shoulder or having to run behind the little monsters. Taking a stroll on your own pace, taking in the surrounding without worrying that you might lose your kid if I don’t keep a watch on him. Having actually a ‘free’ mind to be able to listen to chirping birds and wind. Ask any mum, if this sounds like heaven?

Discovering Your Mommy- Strength

This me-time is not all about forgetting about your child for a while, escaping from the unending to-do list and just relaxing. It is also dedicated time for reflecting and thinking ahead.

When I used to sit down under the shade of a tree, listening to chirping birds in a park all by myself; I used to brainstorm my then future plans about starting to work on my own to provide sustainability services and also developing this media (previously known as Green Living in Dubai) into a bigger grassroots platform for the wider community, all of that you can see now on Sustainability Tribe.

This me-time even used to bring my creativity out. Sometimes I used to gather a few natural goodies like feathers, dried leaves of different shapes, dried flowers and twigs for some eco-activities and natural art and crafts with my son.

Creek Park, Men At Work, Natural Goodies gathered for my son

The me-time still makes me totally refreshed and ready to face my motherhood challenge! So from my experience, I will say to all mums, especially new mums, make sure to take small breaks for yourself. To be able to do that delegate some work, trust your partner to take care of your child, make changes in your to-do list, ditch social media or do whatever is necessary but spend some me-time! Remember, happy moms, make for happy kids!